New Kids On The Ed: Dre'
by Legacy of the Phoenix
Summary: The Eds get acquainted with Xander's younger brother, an outspoken, colorful kid who doesn't seem to like other kids very much. The Gourd continues to observe his enemies. Ed Edd n Eddy created by Danny Antonucci.


In Eddy's house, Eddy and Edd wait in the kitchen for Ed to arrive. Eddy fiddles with a quarter while Edd reads a book titled _How to Wait_, the same one he read back in **Here's mud in your Ed.**

"Not kiddin', Sockhead." Eddy remarks; his once-offensive insult now being one of friendly affection. "You should ask out Irene. Nothing big. Just invite her over to eat one night. She's a prize catch."

"Am I correct to assume that if I decline, that you will get involved and pull some proverbial strings?" Edd turns a page.

"Seriously. I gotta get that cousin of yers to hang around us more often. Gettin' harder and harder to get what yer sayin'." Eddy rolls his eyes.

CRASH! CLATTER! Ed, exhausted and ragged, bursts through Eddy's roof and lands face first onto the kitchen floor! We hear some chickens clucking as sound effects.

"Ed, you…! Errgh!" Eddy keeps himself from harshly insulting Ed, something he used to do out of habit, but now tries very hard not to do at all. "What's with you?!"

CRACK! Ed stands and yanks his face; which is flat like the floor tile, all red, and covered with dust and scratches; up off of the floor and looks to his friends, "Sorry, guys. Sarah had chores again."

"Ugh!" Eddy holds his forehead in frustration.

"I'm inclined to agree, Eddy." Edd closes the book.

"Thought you and the squirt were all good now?" Eddy shrugs.

"What's good is great and what's great is good, Eddy!" Ed suddenly relapses back into stupidity.

"Let's just say that not all creatures are capable of breaking their habits." Edd replies to Eddy and stands to his feet.

"Yeah, well, I ain't gonna have a repeat of last summer where she gets in the way of almost everything." Eddy declares. "I say we keep the flow going with all of those lost episodes we did with that Phoenix guy."

"You're not that person anymore, old friend." Edd points out, forcing Eddy to concede to that truth. "Still, we _do_ need a more permanent solution to the consistent problem of Sarah's constant dominance of Ed. Fortunately, should the occasion arise, Ed and I both know the perfect candidate for this particular task."

* * *

At the **Candy Store**, Dre', sits behind the counter and fiddles with a jar of jelly beans out of sheer boredom. 'Dre is a Black-American boy in Jimmy and Sarah's age group who sports a small afro, a short-sleeved gray shirt, camouflage jeans, and green sneakers. As he places a small stick of red licorice in his mouth, we see that he has a purple tongue just like his brother. A silhouetted woman walks up next to him.

"I know what you're gonna say, Mom." Dre' sighs in annoyance, "And I'd rather lick sour milk off the floor and call it ice cream than play with any of those freakshows. In our cul-de-sac or their's. Town's not bad, but the people…I really thought the whole point of moving is to get away from those types. Just lemme hang out with you until I meet some kids worth my time."

CLATTER! CRASH! SHUNK! From outside the Candy Store, we hear Dre' yelling and resisting his mother's authority, "No way! Forget it! Mom, stop! You never do this with Xander!"

A car belonging to Ed's silhouetted mother, Mrs. Shreck, parks in front of the Candy Store and opens the passenger seat.

"I don't wanna go! I ain't goin'! No way!" Dre' grabs hold of the Candy Store's two doors as his mother tries to push him out, only her long brown arms being clearly visible.

Mrs. Shreck, only her own arms also being clearly visible, grabs Dre' through the opened passenger door with her own two hands. She easily manages to yank the boy inside of her car. After all, she has managed to drag her much larger and heavier son home just by grabbing his ear…with one hand.

"No! No!" All goes pitch black when we focus on the darkness of Dre's mouth.

In no time at all, at Ed's house, Mrs. Schreck, being visible only from the waist down, drags Dre' by his wrist and opens Sarah's bedroom door before she drops him directly in front of Sarah herself as she is playing dolls with Jimmy, much to everyone's displeasures. Mrs. Schreck pats Dre' on the head and departs the room.

"No!" SLAM! Dre' ends up smack against Sarah's room door when Mrs. Schreck closes it shut and locks it from the outside.

"Oh, great! You!" Sarah folds her arms in disgust.

Dre' turns to her and retorts, "Yeah, me! The only non-lame 9-year-old in the room. Or _any_ room with you and Sissy-boy there."

"Erggh!" Sarah turns red and snorts steam before she charges at Dre', whom is completely still and unintimidated.

WHO-CRACK! Dre' suddenly whips out an unnaturally long piece of black licorice, which causes Sarah to cease her assault in mid-air and fall back down. She stands back up and takes one step back from Dre'.

"That's right." Dre' mocks with an arrogant smirk, "Unless you want me to show you some _more_ ropes, remember your place."

"It's not worth it, Sarah." Jimmy touches Sarah's shoulders.

"It's really not. Take your girlfriend's advice." Dre' continues to taunt an angry, defeated Sarah. "Now, I'm gonna eat some food and look out the window like it's TV. Don't say nothin' to me unless my Mom, Dad, or brother swing by."

WHO-BOOMP! CLATTER! Dre' grabs Sarah's toy chest, empties it on the floor, and uses it as a chair as he looks out the window.

CHOMP! Dre' inserts another mini red licorice in his mouth.

Sarah balls her fists up in rage before she reluctantly returns to playing with Jimmy.

* * *

In Ed's room, Ed himself has shown Edd and Eddy how to play video games, but neither are as interested or invested as he is. They play merely to support their friend's feelings.

"I win again! Ed rules! Edd and Eddy dools!" Ed happily leaps up and down.

"It's _drools,_ monobrow." Eddy corrects, his once-offensive insult now being one of friendly affection.

"That was…quite an experience, Ed." Edd tells Ed.

"Yeah, but I'm bored. Let's go try somethin' fun with our cell phones." Eddy suggests.

The three boys leave through Ed's window and are seen by Dre' through Sarah's. Dre' expresses some notable curiosity in the three, having seen Ed and Edd around and even admitting to finding them interesting at one point. But seeing them with Eddy, whom he has heard many things about from the original cul-de-sac kids, fills him with even greater intrigue.

SHUNK! WHO-CRACK! Dre' opens Sarah's window and tosses out another improbably long piece of black licorice before he wraps the other end around the toy chest.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asks with a loud, stern voice.

"Minding mine. Like you should be." Dre' stands at the windowsill, ready to use the black licorice as a rope.

"I'm telling my Mom!" Sarah barks.

"When don't you?" Dre' slides down the black licorice unconcerned. WHO-CRACK! He retracts the licorice and runs up behind the Eds, "Hey, you! Wait up!"

Not long after, all four boys are in Eddy's bedroom, which now sports everything Xander advised him to possess; a laptop, a flat-screen TV with a blu-ray player, and four posters of a few different girls from a _Bikini Babes_ magazine catalogue.

"Yuck! Girls are gross on their own without being too broke to buy more clothes and take showers." Dre' remarks, his childish innocence making him naïve to the nature of the posters.

"Before we get to know each other, I gotta know somethin'." Eddy sits in his new recliner chair. "Why don't you like Sarah? Or Jimmy?"

"It ain't just them. It's everybody here." Dre' points in reference to Peach Creek. "Well, _almost_ everybody. They, especially that frogfaced Schreck girl, are all dead ringers for what me and my brother left back in the Falls. Over there, we got the worst kind of girls. Always whining when they don't get what they want. Trying to beat up on their brothers for not listening to them. Yelling real loud over little stuff. Hangin' around guys that are even girlier than they are. Those are the ones I _really_ hate. Close seconds are jocks who think they're somebody just cause they ride bikes and say "dude" a lot. Don't even get me started on the rest. PC's a nice place to live, but most of the people?" He shakes his head.

"You keep saying _most?"_ Eddy notices.

"You guys are the only stick-outs that ain't sore thumbs." Dre' remarks, "At The Falls, there's _nobody_ like you. Nobody. Heard about all the stuff you did. Scam gone bad. That crud with your brother. Military School. You're way overdue for some breaks."

Eddy somewhat appreciates Dre's admiration and bluntness.

"Tell him about the licorice, 'Dre!" Ed picks his nose and somehow gets his whole hand stuck in it.

"What, this?" Dre' takes out his black licorice, "It's just somethin' I picked up in the Citrus Scouts. Only thing I was better at than everyone else."

"I believe he was speaking as far as how you used it to subdue Sarah." SMACK! CRASH! Edd helps Ed yank his hand out of his nose but ends up getting hit in the face and crashing against Eddy's wall!

Dre' smiles at the Eds as he looks down to his black licorice.

* * *

**Flashback: One week ago. Jimmy and Sarah are on the playground; the former plays in the sandbox as Sarah plays on the swings. Dre' shows up in the sandbox with his own pale and shovel, making Jimmy uncomfortable as he had wanted it all to himself.**

"**Please, play later. I'm making a giant castle." Jimmy insists.**

"**Too bad. 'Cause I got a giant dragon." SLOSH! Dre' destroys the castle with his plastic toy dragon, upsetting Jimmy.**

"**Sarah, rabble-rouser!" He cries to her.**

"**What?!" Sarah leaps off of the swing, dashes towards Dre', and picks him up by his shirt in aggressive fashion. "We were here first, bub!"**

"**Great. So much for this town being **_**totally**_** new." WOOSH! SLAM! An unintimidated Dre' grabs Sarah's hand, swings himself once, and slams Sarah face-first into the sandbox, shocking Jimmy.**

"**Ergggh!" Sarah turns red and her teeth sharpens, making Jimmy not only smile again, but also stick his tongue out at Dre'.**

"**Ugh! Fix your face, frog-princess. Or else I don't think even your knight-in-simpering armor back there is gonna wanna kiss ya." Dre', still unintimidated, taunts her still.**

"**AGGGGGGH!" Sarah attacks Dre'.**

**WHO-CRACK! WOSHO! WOSHO! WOSHO! Dre' takes out his improbably long black licorice rope and after a fighting cloud forms, he easily mummifies all but Sarah's head with it! Despite her great strength being amplified by her rage, she is completely unable to break free from her candied bounds.**

"**Jeepers!" Jimmy touches his mouth in terror. **

"**She's never gettin' loose, Curly-girl." Dre' tells Jimmy, "Might wanna get her on that wagon and get to her Mom before it tightens."**

**Jimmy does just that while Dre' casually plays in the sandbox with his pale, shovel, and plastic dragon.**

* * *

Dre' dangles the rope, "And people give this stuff so much grief."

"Dre'…I think we're all gonna get along just fine." Eddy then proposes, "But before we talk about what we want, let's talk about what _you_ want."

But as it turns out, Dre' actually does not want very much. He is mostly satisfied with Peach Creek. All he really wants is to hang around the Eds, which he does.

Over jawbreakers, he laughs with Eddy when Ed gets his head stuck in the toilet of the McCall bathroom. An exasperated Edd tries to yank him out of it.

Later, Dre' struggles not to fall asleep during one of Edd's educational films that the latter plays on his Blu-ray player in the living room. Edd is naturally very invested while Ed and Eddy are sound asleep due to boredom. When Edd is not looking, Dre' draws on both Ed and Eddy's respective faces with a sharpie!

In **The Junkyard**, around sunset, the Eds somehow convert all of the scrap in the yard into two giant mountains. Eddy surfs down on one while Dre' does the same on the other; the both of them use discarded ironing boards as surfboards.

"Yee-haw!" Eddy shouts.

"Mount Cul-de-sacia rules!" Dre' passes Eddy!

"Oh, no you don't!" Eddy tries to catch up with him.

Ed and Edd look up at them. Well, Edd does. Ed is too distracted with a portable PSP and has started drooling...again.

"I feel I should have prepared my bedroom for clinical use as a precaution." Edd looks towards the two surfers.

"I love beef sausage, Double D!" Ed blurts out, still into his game.

Night has fallen and the Eds walk with Dre' to his house in the second cul-de-sac.

"You guys are awesome." Dre' remarks, "You have more fun than a roach in a sugar bowl."

"And by "roach", you mean Sarah?" Eddy guesses with a chuckle.

"Yep. It's a done deal." Dre' shakes Eddy's hand, "Tadpole-Tongue ain't gonna bother you or them anymore. I'd help you with those Kanker boys; that's right, I said "boys"; but I might need a bit more practice since they're a lot tougher than the licorice."

"No need for concern there, Dre'." Edd touches the young boy's shoulder. "My cousin is confident in his ability to end that issue permanently."

CREAK! The front door to the McCall house opens and Mrs. McCall, only her arm being seen, grabs Dre's ear, causing him mild discomfort. Clearly, she is upset with him for sneaking out of the Schreck house and making a mess in Sarah's room.

"Don't worry about it. I knew it was coming." Dre' tells the confused Eds. "I'll be out next episode!"

SLAM! Dre is yanked into the house before the door slams shut.

"Nice kid. I like 'im." Eddy remarks.

* * *

Within **The Gourd Fortress**, The Gourd himself and Timber look to the Eds via their surveillance screen as the trio depart the McCall lawn. In response to Eddy's comment about Dre', The Gourd replies,

"Glad to hear it, Eddy. More leverage, the better. But I'm even happier to learn about your constant problems with the Kankers. Perhaps an alliance is in order. What do you say, Timber?"

There is mere silence as we focus on Timber's face.

_"No"_ isn't something we take for an answer. One way or another, they _will_ help us."


End file.
